Cocktail Onions

Priest Off

Ricky Martin officially comes out.

Yeah, that's right. Ricky Marty is officially on our team. (I guess it's better than some of the other trash we have over here on the dark side...) In other news, the sky is blue.

Nintendo announces the ‘Nintendo 3DS’

I guess 3-D gaming is the next big thing. I'm at least glad I never invested into the Nintendo DSi or the DS Lite... I'm still rocking the clunky original DS model, complete with sticky buttons from when I spilled red soda on it a few years back. Nintendo World Report... uhm, reports... In a surprise announcement, Nintendo Co., Ltd. released a brief teaser regarding their next portable system. Tentatively called the Nintendo 3DS, the system features three-dimensional gameplay without the n...

GaGa is cooking with pure WIN

Thanks to my good friend Heat for pointing out this wonderfully delicious Cooking Mama parody art starring none other than Lady GaGa herself, complete with her "Telephone" get-up. I would definitely play a game about cooking poison honey for unsuspecting diner patrons. Major props to DeviantArt user capitannathan for his sexy portrayal of the freak bitch.

Malpractice with Dr. Mario

Lady GaGa and Beyoncé do gay porn.

Not really, but wouldn't that be great? Anyway, the buzz around the block is that the diner used as the set for Lady GaGa's new "Telephone" video was apparently the exact same set used on not one, but TWO different gay porn films. Comparison photos can be found here. (Don't click on that, Mom. You'll see pictures of a grown man's doodle.) It seems almost fitting for GaGa to prance around on a cesspool of man-on-man salacity, but there's something almost unclean about the thought of Beyoncé slidi...

“Telephone” music video is pretty much awesome

"I told you she didn't have a dick." Oh, GaGa... Your personality is so Tarantino. The official music video (i.e., not the endless parodies) for "Telephone" has been released today. If you're unaware, this is the sequel to the video for "Paparazzi" (seen here). Sure, the lyrics don't correlate with the video at all... But she's wearing sunglasses made of cigarettes and using Coca Cola cans as hair rollers! This is a freak bitch, baby... And she take'n Beyo with her!

Neutra Face: An Ode to a Typeface (A Bearded Poker Face Parody)

Hello, auditorium of empty seats. Why yes, despite the general lack of a demographic, I am going to continue this performance. Although I have been away... That's what happens to you when the video-gaming entertainment industry decides to release a ton of games at the same time, all tailor-made to tickle my fancy specifically. And with Final Fantasy XIII heading my way in the next couple of days, I can almost guarantee that my Cocktail presence will be even more non-existent. But I am still devo...