Cocktail Onions

Lady GaGa and Beyoncé do gay porn.

Not really, but wouldn't that be great? Anyway, the buzz around the block is that the diner used as the set for Lady GaGa's new "Telephone" video was apparently the exact same set used on not one, but TWO different gay porn films. Comparison photos can be found here. (Don't click on that, Mom. You'll see pictures of a grown man's doodle.) It seems almost fitting for GaGa to prance around on a cesspool of man-on-man salacity, but there's something almost unclean about the thought of Beyoncé slidi...

“Telephone” music video is pretty much awesome

"I told you she didn't have a dick." Oh, GaGa... Your personality is so Tarantino. The official music video (i.e., not the endless parodies) for "Telephone" has been released today. If you're unaware, this is the sequel to the video for "Paparazzi" (seen here). Sure, the lyrics don't correlate with the video at all... But she's wearing sunglasses made of cigarettes and using Coca Cola cans as hair rollers! This is a freak bitch, baby... And she take'n Beyo with her!

Neutra Face: An Ode to a Typeface (A Bearded Poker Face Parody)

Hello, auditorium of empty seats. Why yes, despite the general lack of a demographic, I am going to continue this performance. Although I have been away... That's what happens to you when the video-gaming entertainment industry decides to release a ton of games at the same time, all tailor-made to tickle my fancy specifically. And with Final Fantasy XIII heading my way in the next couple of days, I can almost guarantee that my Cocktail presence will be even more non-existent. But I am still devo...

“Telephone” to be Lady Gaga’s next single

UPDATE: I finally found Gagapedia, a Wikia dedicated to Lady Gaga. And upon it, I discovered that Gaga herself has confirmed "Speechless" will be an eventual single. I knew it... Lady GaGa also confirmed in A Billy Bush interview that the ballad "Speechless" is going to be released as a single. The song encouraged her through her father's heart surgery. Joe Germanotta, her father, loves the song when performed by Lady GaGa on her grand piano. I love you, G... But this may break your consis...

Waiter, there’s a Beyoncé in my Lady Gaga…

Another trickle of hot, sweet, juicy love from Lady Gaga's upcoming The Fame Monster has leaked its ways into my eardrums tonight, but in the form of a telephone-inspired double-whammy featuring Ms. Sasha Fierce herself! If you hadn't heard, Lady Gaga was set to appear in Beyoncé's video for the song "Video Phone" from her album I Am... Sasha Fierce. Not only that, Gaga was going to record a remix with Beyoncé including a verse all of her own. Then we found out that Beyoncé is going to ret...